Compatible Loneliness
by Digimagic
Summary: Oneshot: RyuShu. BL Shuichi stands atop of NG reflecting on the loneliness in his heart when Ryuichi comes to lend an ear and maybe offer some comfort.


_A/N:_ Long time no type! (that was bad I know) So I'll hopefully will be posting more often now. This is a RyuShu fic because I'm in complete love with this pairing! Plus Ryuichi is tied with being my favorite character along with Ryuuji Otogi (Duke Devlin: Yugioh) and Hasao (.Hack/Roots and .Hack/G.U.). I hope you like this. This one is not as depressing as my others. Now one dies I can tell you that right now. I think it has a happy ending (though it's is a little different then I thought it would be.). Enjoy!

_Summary: _(One-shot: RyuShu. BL) Shuichi stands atop of NG reflecting on the loneliness in his heart when Ryuichi comes to lend an ear and maybe offer some comfort.

_Disclaimer:_ I do not own Gravitation. I will never own Gravitation. I sadly can't draw nearly as well as a lot of my friends…-pouts-

_Warning:_ Boy-love (aka BL) which means males with other males and if you don't like it then why are you read _Gravitation_ fanfiction?

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_**Compatible Loneliness**_

On the roof of the NG building a pink haired male stands alone. He's currently looking out over the Tokyo bay. A light breeze passes by as he lets out a wistful sigh. He watches as the sunset reflects off the water before him. His usually sparkling violet eyes are currently empty from the sadness in his heart. Another sigh escapes his full pink lips as he leans against the rail. One name is on his mind, repeating it's self over and over.

_ Yuki…_

Yes, it is the currently rising pop idol _(1)_, Shuichi Shindou. The name on his mind was that of the popular romance author and his lover, Eiri Yuki. _Ex-lover. I need to remember that. We aren't like that anymore…but still…_tears start forming in his eyes_…_ _Why am I still so upset? It was a mutual break up. Plus it was over two months ago. Why am I still so upset?_ He honestly didn't know why. It's been over two years after he found Yuki in New York. He still remembers how broken and upset Yuki looked. He got to his concert, very grateful to Ryuichi for stalling. He even got to go on tour with Nittle Grasper after that. Plus Yuki was being a little nicer to him, even if he still got kicked out from time to time, like when Yuki had a deadline. But still, things were going better then he could hope for, at least to him.

Then he noticed it, how Yuki and he were starting to drift apart. Yuki was busy with his writing and career as author while he was busy with Bad Luck and various things that involved. With having the media involved in a good deal of their lives the only place they truly act as lovers was at home, which they rarely were both at, at the same time. Then one day he came home. Yuki was home and not in his study for once. When Yuki and he looked each other in the eyes, it clicked. They both could tell that somehow, whatever they had before had faded. They still cared for each, yes, but they both knew the love that they once held for each other was no longer there. That's when they decided to end it.

Two weeks later Shuichi moved out and into a place of his own. A week after that it was released that Yuki's latest book series was going international. Three days after that information was released another announcement was made. Eiri Yuki was going to be going on an international book tour. A week later he left Japan. No one knows when he'll be back, though they know it will be a few years.

Shuichi's focus is on his career more then anything else now. He works extremely late hours and will do anything, anytime to promote his band. He tries to stay as busy as he can because the one thing he hates most, is going back home to nothing. He's never liked being alone, for as long as he can remember. He used to cling so badly to his mother before he lost her. Shuichi's head lowers as more tears start to glide down his soft cheek. _Why am I always left alone? I hate the loneliness. _A choked sob is heard as he starts crying harder.

"God, I hate it…"

"Hate what, Shu?"

Startled from the unexpected question Shuichi looks up and to his right, towards the voice. What he sees is silky, dark green hair _(2)_ and two beautifully sparkly sapphires. Those sapphires at the moment are currently serious and filled with curiosity and concern.

"Sakuma-san…"

Ryuichi Sakuma, Shuichi's long time idol and his closet friend, next to Hiro. Ryuichi being up here kind shocks Shuichi. It's no surprise that Ryuichi is still here at NG. Most of the time Ryuichi doesn't leave until Shuichi leaves unless he has something that makes him leave early. He's been keeping Shuichi company a lot since Yuki and he broke up. But Shuichi's come up here many times before and he's never notice Ryuichi following him. Thought it's not like he was paying attention. As Ryuichi leans on the rail same as Shuichi and looks out over the water, Shuichi keeps his eyes on Ryuichi.

"Sakuma-san…why are you up here?"

As Shuichi stands there looking at him, Ryuichi turns his head to look directly into Shuichi's eyes.

"I'm stalking you Shu. How else could I have such perfect timing?"

Ryuichi smiles playfully at Shuichi yet his eyes keep their seriousness. Shuichi continues staring at Ryuichi, though he's not sure why. It's like Ryuichi's eyes have him trapped, he can't look away from those beautifully sapphires. Ryuichi tilts his head after a minute or so.

"So Shu? Hate what?"

It seems to take a moment or so before Shuichi registers what Ryuichi says. When he does he kind of snaps back to himself with a blink and looks back over the water. He sighs once again; he's been doing that a lot as of late.

"Being alone. Not being loved. Not being able to complete my heart. Hurting…crying to myself in the dark…"

As Shuichi speaks his head drops once again. The tears from before start to well up in his eyes once again. He can feel all the pain flooding back into him. Words start to just pour from his lips.

"I hate Yuki for leaving. I hate Bad Luck for taking up my time. I hate Hiro for spending more time with Ayaka than me. I hate…myself for…nothing. I just hate myself. I let him go, knowing it was best for the both of us but at the same time…I screaming inside. I knew that him leaving would leave me all alone again. Just like father did. Just like my mother did. _(3)_ Just like they all did. I hate the loneliness I feel. I hate the darkness that wraps around me every night. I hate emptiness in my heart. I'm pathetic, aren't I?"

Shuichi's arms are now clutching himself tightly as his tear flow freely. Ryuichi continued watching Shuichi as he was speaking, watching the tears. Watching his pain. When Shuichi stops speaking Ryuichi moves behind Shuichi. He wraps his arms around Shuichi as his chin comes to rest on Shuichi's left shoulder. He eyes show sympathy and strong emotion. Shuichi didn't need to look into Ryuichi's eyes to know what they showed. He already knew. They both knew this was the price of fame. Only rarely do any of those famous find and keep love.

"You're not pathetic Shu. You're human. Just like everyone else. No one wants to be alone but fame doesn't give you much choice. I hate the loneliness, the darkness, and the emptiness same as you. I love singing and being on stage but when I'm alone in the darkness where ever I'm living…I feel I could go insane. So I smile when ever I can. I bounce and act as cheerful as I can. I try to forget all of it when ever I can because I know if I don't all of it will swallow me."

After Ryuichi says this they both stare out over the now dark water, neither moving nor speaking. Knowing that just being there with the other is enough to help forget the pain. After awhile, neither of them knows how long, Ryuichi nuzzles his face into Shuichi's neck. He smiles into Shuichi's neck.

"Though, I will admit. It's nice to have someone to share all of it with. I don't feel any pain when I'm with you Shu. You make me a little more _real_."

Shuichi smiles, his tears are now forgotten and all that's left of them is their dried trails. Shuichi leans back into Ryuichi and tilts his head back to rest on Ryuichi's right shoulder. His eyes take in the night sky. With all the lights in Tokyo the stars can barely be seen but he can see a few if he tries.

"Ryuichi, you're right. It's nice. When you're near me I forget everything. When you leave I remember everything. I hate it when you leave."

Ryuichi softly kisses Shuichi's neck, a way of soothing Shuichi's on coming fears. His arms tighten around Shuichi as Shuichi moves his arms to lay over Ryuichi's.

"Then how about I don't leave you? Stay with me Shu, so that we can both escape the darkness and all it brings."

Shuichi smiles softly and lets out a soft laugh.

"Yeah Ryuichi, I'd like that."

They stay like that for a long time. Shuichi moved in with Ryuichi the next day. No one knows what their relationship is. They're not lovers but they're way more then friends. They're everything to each other; they're the sanity they both need for so long.

Owari

_(The End)_

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_(1) It's been over two years so I'm saying that by now Shuichi would be a rising pop idol._

_(2) I'm going with anime (not the movie, the anime) and Ryuichi's hair is green in the anime. _

_(3) They don't go into Shuichi's past in the anime or manga so I'm playing with it a little. _

_A/N:_ Okay so just like everything else I have ever written I have no clue where it came from. -sighs- Well at least the ending was happier then most of my other stories…even if I don't quite understand it. Which is sad considering I wrote. I mean I basically get it but still I also know it was a kind of…odd ending, I guess. But I do kind of like this one plus it's RyuShu…kind of…I think…lets just say it is. Please review. I like reviews plus since schools out I'll most likely start writing more and reviews will get me to post more and faster! So please review! –gets a pleading look in eyes- Thank you for reading!

_P.S._ This story has not been edited by CyberDeletion and I don't know if she's going to. She's doesn't read Gravitation fanfiction. I went over it but they are most likely still mistakes. It is 3:52 in the morning so please giving me a break. –bows- Thank you.


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